Richmond VA at CHURCH OF CRYSTAL LIGHT Sept.15

Wake up in Asheville, NC. After collecting ourselves in the morning we get up and hit a nice greasy spoon diner just a block from Ted’s place. Eggs and pancakes and all that good stuff. It’s a long drive this day to Richmond for the last show of our 3-band touring. This time I ride with Brian and Emo in Wendy’s car and she rides in the van. Again, really scenic coming down out of the mountains of North Carolina.

The Richmond show is at this new space which Narwhalz and the Adult Moan boys are renting. It’s a really nice space, plenty of room for shows, first floor storefront in a really great location, and they have the second floor for living space. There’s some cool art up on the walls and the front window has the name of the space: The Church of Crystal Light. Of course, there are some drawbacks, like the lack of any working shower and the condition of the existing bathroom. But still, for a living/show space, it’s a great spot.

We roll in a little before 8 and the Pom Kiki crew is all there. The Head Molt kids even came up for the show! Load stuff in and chat, then we all head out to try and find food, which kind of turns into a big confusing debacle involving much hungry frustration. In the end I do manage to get some pizza, and finally everyone is back at the space and it’s starting to fill up. Of course, this big food quest took us all about an hour and a half or so, so it’s getting kind of late, especially for a Monday show. The first band takes a little while getting set up too, so things get off to a pretty late start.

First band is pretty fun, 2 guys who do a dissonant noisy song, then almost a straight up pop-punk song, then a more noisy song and they’re done. RADIO SHOCK’s on next and I set up as fast as possible. The place is really full and it’s a pretty awesome scene. There seem to be lots of college kid types who have never seen anything like these bands before. As I set up, Davey tells me that there are cops hanging around outside, so maybe I want to wait to start being loud. So I give it a couple minutes, then start.


More photos from the show here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/acemcmanagan/sets/72157607968713302/show/

My show goes really well but in the middle of the last song Brian Narwhalz says into my ear “You have to stop right now. The cops are here.” So I make everyone start clapping along and then cut out the music, leaving them clapping to end the song. Then Brian Narwhalz and Jonathan from Adult Moan get on the mike and tell everyone to go home right now, sorry, but the show has to stop. The cops were cool, no tickets, but I guess it was too loud outside the place, or it was too late, or the neighbors complained, or some combination of the above.

After selling a couple of CDs and getting some email addresses I step away to phone home and return to the place to find a small group of people hanging around and I’m told that Adult Moan are going to do a performance for us! The best! Adult Moan are one of my favorite bands, and I can’t really do justice to their performance with a description, but I can tell you that it’s a little more like performance art than most musical bands and it’s sort of “infantile.” In fact, this show involved both band members stuffing themselves into a pink furry sac while shouting “Mommy!” “Go back in!” Ended with them both drenched in beer from head to toe and having smashed many of the keys off of one Casio SK-1 keyboard. All for the 10 friends watching. Truly an honor. We were also treated to a performance of Brian Narwhalz’s comedy act, “Just Kidding.” I’ve said it before: Stand-up comedy is the new noise.

Then we pull the mattresses, which have been serving as sound insulation, out of the front windows to sleep on and everyone claims a spot. Some people also order another pizza, which takes an hour to arrive. We hear stories of ghost sightings within the space, the second place we’ve stayed which we’ve been told is haunted. No ghosts appear however.

The next morning I take off to a nearby coffee shop to get online (and some coffee) and I also make a quick stop in the comic book shop on the same block. I get a call telling me that everyone is getting ready to go, and return shortly to the van being mostly packed up. Say goodbyes to the Pom Kiki Crew and score a new Narwhalz T-shirt, and it’s time to head home. Philadelphia for everyone else, and on to Brooklyn for me. Traffic is only a little bit crazy and after returning everyone to their residences, Brian gives me a lift to 30th St. Station and I catch the SEPTA train out of Philly around 9:45 or so. I’m back at my apartment by 1AM.

Asheville, NC - Sunday, Sept.14

So I’ll try to finish up this batch of tour stories. Sunday, September 14, it’s time to break down the tents and re-load the van. Do some last minute CD trades and say goodbyes to the Birmingham crew and Justin and others. Before leaving town we make one more visit to the Farmer’s Market for some food and a few more supplies.

We now have one more person and one dog (and another car, thankfully) in our crew because Wendy met us in Atlanta. Oh, I forgot to mention her performance at Freedumb as SUICIDE MAGNETS, which was really cool. It involved a couple of TV monitors showing her videos while she unraveled this long red fabric cloak, which everyone in the small room spread out over our heads. It felt like being in a tent with Wendy as the central pillar standing over a video podium. Like a surreal noise tent revival.

I go in the car with Wendy and her dog, Emo. It’s a bit of a drive, but not too bad, getting to Asheville, NC. Very scenic, up through the mountains. So the last time I played in Asheville it was weird but totally awesome. It was in a friendly coffee house and somehow it filled up with college kids (mostly, I think) who didn’t really break out and dance but were one of the most vocal and enthusiastic crowds I’ve ever played for. I also played with EAR PWR, who are a dance-power duo. So this time we also played with EAR PWR but everything else was totally different.

The show is at a place called the New French Bar, and when it was booked we were told up front that it’s a weird place but it’s the only place to play. And it is kind of weird and maybe kind of inappropriate for our bands. It feels like a “classy” bar, with a room full of art in the back and windows all the way around in front. Strangely, we’re playing in the front room. The place is definitely filled (well, one quarter filled maybe) with locals. Like, biker-rock-looking dudes and women in tube tops and make-up.

I think some others in the crew are a little weirded out and/or bummed out by the scene, but I’m into it. This is the kind of show I’m more used to playing, for a bunch of unsuspecting and possibly antagonistic people in an inappropriate setting. I like a challenge. So we decide that I will play last of our touring group since RADIO SHOCK can kind of bridge the gap between the noisier stuff and EAR PWR’s poppy stuff. HYLAND HOLOGRAM plays first, and it seems like there is no one there who wants to hear it. And it’s LOUD and sounds HARSH. It actually sounds great, but I’m ready for the regulars to revolt or evacuate to the back room. Instead they show astounding determination to stay right at the bar and completely ignore the deafening sound.

One serious Harley Davidson looking dude with long dreadlocks takes to heckling, shouting “turn it up!” and “rock and roll!” between songs. While DRUMS LIKE MACHINE GUNS are setting up he’s shouting “This better rock!” And DLMG is even louder. All the locals stay put. There appear to be a few people there for the show now, but they’re mostly lurking. As DLMG are packing up, Dreadlocks is going “Hey long-hair, hey long-hair!” Without paying attention to who is talking Brian announces “Call me long-hair one more time… I’ll make you bleed your own blood!” and before he can finish this statement of course: “Hey long-hair!” from Dreadlocks. Everyone looks a little nervous about this situation, but Brian goes over to the guy and pals around with him a bit, smooths it over. Dreadlocks is just a loud drunk, no real threat, probably…

I’m ready to do the RADIO SHOCK show and the guy is at it again: “This had better rock!” So I’m accustomed to hecklers, first thing I say is “Okay, here’s what were going to do! After every song I want Captain Dreadlocks to tell me if it rocked, on a scale of one to ten!” No response from Dreadlocks so I play the first song and as soon as I’m done I point right at him. Nothing. He’s just looking at his beer. Everyone who’s watching me looks a little nervous. Someone says “seven point five” (or something like that) so I play the next song. After that one I point to the guy again. Again, just silence. He looks like he’s not even paying attention so I say “Ladies and gentlemen, I think I have accomplished something which I’ll bet no other band ever has. I have left Captain Dreadlocks speechless.” Nothing. Nervous looks. “In fact, you all owe me a fee for this service.” He’s still just staring at his beer and at this point I take a moment to wonder if I’ve misjudged the situation and now he’s actually really mad. Play the next song, finish the set. It sounded pretty good I thought. A couple of people started dancing a bit.

When I’m done, Dreadlocks is gone, so I figure he probably just finally got drunk enough to make him happy and went home. EAR PWR go on next and suddenly the place transforms. Several people who I mistook for bar regulars jump up and start dancing and cheering. In fact, these 2 guys who I seriously thought were Lynyrd-Skynyrd-listening locals suddenly become the most enthusiastic, openly gay, bumping and grinding EAR PWR fans. There’s some guy who appears to be a real, professional breakdancer busting out real moves. Very weird. EAR PWR never fails to turn a place into a dance party.

After the show we actually get paid rather well, which is a cool surprise, and Asheville noise-guy Ted says he can put us up at his house, all of us and Emo the dog even. Once at the house, Ted tells us about a 24-hour coffee house nearby which is inhabited by nerds and gamers at all hours. The Hyland Holograms and I have to check it out so we walk off into the misty Asheville night and do in fact find the place. They’ve got a collection of old video game systems and role-playing type board games too. Davey and Lance are checking out some kind of Star Wars board game I think? I get a cappuccino. We all agree that we should have tried to play there.

Back at the house everyone else is watching old videos of AC/DC on Youtube, which are kind of amazing. Ted’s got some Yamaha keyboards which are different model versions of the one I use, so I have to check those out. Then it’s sleeping time. It’s pretty late. Just floor space, but I sleep pretty well regardless.

* added correction: I meant the 14th.

the rest of FREEDUMB FEST

Going back in time now to recap some Freedumb Fest memories. I’m sure I won’t be able to put it all in the correct order, but at least I can recount some of the moments. Friday morning I get up pretty early I think, 10:30 maybe, and Justin is already up and getting ready to cook some breakfast. It’s surprising enough that I ask him if he’s slept at all, but he has. Eggs and toast for all the campers and crashers. Lots of good, friendly company.

After organizing some stuff, emailing and exercising, a batch of us organize an outing to the Farmer’s Market, a popular attraction out in Stone Mountain. It’s not so much like a farmer’s market like I’ve seen anywhere else, as much as it’s like a big, cheap, fresh food grocery store. They also have a pay-by-the-pound buffet which is a great deal and has some great food. Everyone has some and then stocks up on some groceries. Except Brian, he went to the skatepark earlier and kindly took my disposable camera of photos to drop off at the drugstore.

On top of all this food, dinner was made too, both Friday and Saturday night, though the 2 nights are blending together now in my mind. I do know that one of the highlights of Friday night was Mincemeat or Tenspeed vs. This Is My Condition, the wordiest team-up of the year. It sounded amazing at every second, even when Davey and Craig seemed totally perplexed by each others’ actions. Kohvicoobah (probably misspelled) was a nice surprise, psychedelia which turned into sludgy grindcore which turned into a trombone duel and a few more changes. They might have been Saturday night though.

Oh yeah, there was also this really annoying dude there who was pissing off every person in his vicinity. Basically acting like he gets to be a part of every performance that’s going on, including picking up someone’s guitar without asking and singing an entire song while that band is about to play. Sitting just about on top of Mugu Guymen while they were playing and doing some kind of thing where he pretends to nurse a stuffed animal? Dude, you are not in the band! So later Brian had to actually kick this moron out of my tent! He was just sitting in there playing the bongos and acted surprised and insulted when Brian explained that if he didn’t know me and I didn’t say it was okay then he can’t be there.

He didn’t mess with anything or get violent, but he’s got some kind of severe problem understanding boundaries. The next day Justin explained that this guy has been there previous years and was once chased down the road screaming by someone for laying down with that person’s sleeping girlfriend. I know Freedumb looks like a big hippie/anarchy fest, but every other freak, weirdo, and punk there seems to have no trouble being cool. Annoying guy wasn’t enough to spoil the fun, but seriously, what’s wrong with that guy?

Friday night I also went to sleep while others seemed determined to keep the party raging but woke up to many people already awake and active, washing dishes and cooking. There are even pancakes this time. Saturday morning I took advantage of the time to do some exercising and meditating by the little lake. After that, Lisa led a small group of us in something called Chi Gong (kind of like Tai Chi) and then some official Tai Chi. A good antidote to all the cramped van time on the way down.

After some more activities which I can’t recall now, a much bigger fire is being built, more dinner is being cooked, and Chinese Frankenstein is setting up outside. Because Chinese Frankenstein set up some bright lights as part of her little stage set and it’s getting dark, a huge spider decides to build a gigantic web in front of her performance area. That keeps several of us entranced for a good while. In fact, the spider completes its entire web before Chinese Frankenstein is ready to perform.

After some delays, things kick off and go fast. Adrien Barbobott gets the crowd worked up with some good chunky noise. Chinese Frankenstein eventually performs a quiet, kinda-sorta-cryptic kabuki performance about circumcising a plastic and paper baby-thing. Them Natives (was that Friday) really get to feeling it and take things into deep space. Graham and Rat Bastard’s performance as “Everything Is Erotic” is great and turns into a sloppy mosh pit.

Day 3 of Freedumb and I think everyone is starting to feel a little weary, even with the restful daytime activities. When the Radio Shock show starts I’m a little concerned that no one has any energy left, but somehow things escalate to an “off the hook” point. Toilet paper gets thrown around, followed by a large amount of salt, followed by a tin of coffee (espresso grind!). Suddenly everything feels disgusting but smells very delicious! Somehow I manage to take every knob off of my guitar amp during the last song, but afterwards I find them all on the floor.

Hyland Hologram plays right after me so I only catch their last song but people are into it. Even the punk girls who showed up have found something they can rock out to. This is My Condition and Dan Kozak play again, rocking out hard but for some exhausted people. They even do the Star-Spangled Banner while wrapped in an American flag. Drums Like Machine Guns close things out in a suitably chaotic manner, ending with chants of Free!Dumb!Free!Dumb!

Things are winding down, people are watching the last of the fire or star-gazing. I retire to my tent, fall asleep to the sounds of drunken shouting.

heading home

Richmond show at the Church of Crystal Light was awesome, until it was shut down by the cops. RADIO SHOCK got to play but the other guys did not. In Richmond now, but we're all packing up soon to head back to Philly, then I catch a train back to NYC tonight or tomorrow morning. I'll write a review of the last few shows shortly.

Then I start booking the next shows.

FREEDUMB FEST continues

Things have been too crazy and awesome to spend time documenting in details, I've just been soaking it up. Plenty of hot, humid, fresh air. Plenty of good food, exercise, ROCK and NOISE, etc. This Is My Condition playing together with Mincemeat or Tenspeed was just about the best sounding thing I've ever heard in my life. Bonfires. Coffee. Marshmallows. Loudness. Weird people.

I'll probably get to write a better review on our drive to Asheville tomorrow.

FREEDUMB day ONE - Sept.11

Made it to Freedumb Fest! The Black Casl is a big house on a lot of land that feels like it’s way out in the country even though you drive through some kind of suburban development to get there, then turn down a bumpy dirt driveway about a quarter mile long and there you are. There’s a pond, some kind of gazebo platform in the yard, and a bonfire area. Lots of trees all around.

I set up my tent before it becomes completely dark, grab some coffee and pasta. Justin’s made a bunch of evil Uncle Sam coloring pictures and there are plenty of crayons so everyone can enter the coloring contest. There’s also a nice poster of evil Uncle Sam pushing a bald eagle into a grave with his foot and shoveling dirt on top. Most of the crew from Birmingham seem to have made the trip out and there are a few other tents up.

I’ll try to summarize some of the performances, but there’s no way I’ll give everything the time it deserves, and this was just day one. Honestly, everyone was amazing. I’m not playing tonight, so I’m just an audience member. DRUMS LIKE MACHINE GUNS kicked the festivities off at 9:11PM sharp. Loud and headbanging like always. Instead of a HYLAND HOLOGRAM set, the band fractures into solo projects tonight. CARZ WILL BURN, MINCEMEAT OR TENSPEED, and DICK NEFF. Dick Neff set was particularly awesome, Lance looped and layered up gross farting noises made using some kind of kids’ “slime” stuff, building up to a wall of noise that he played drums over, then did a “dance number.” MINCEMEAT hit a killer groove that had everyone moving. CARZ sounded super-powerful.

UH OH SPADES did some pumped synth jams. GASHY was spooky and great, especially his dirgey cover of “You’ve Got The Whole World In Your Hands.” Of course the closing act and highlight was THIS IS MY CONDITION with DAN KOZAK. TIMC is Craig playing drums and guitar at once, knocking out riffs on the guitar strings with his drum sticks. Dan plays sax, flute, harmonica, etc. This is a totally inspirational and powerful performance, really really something special. There are only about 20 people there but everyone knows they’re witnessing something special. Craig and Dan are really on fire, inventing new ways of playing their instruments right before our eyes. At one point Craig’s effects pedals are acting up and making weird noises, so he plays them by picking up the pedal and dropping it in rhythm.

Because of the good time planning the show this night ends way before the crack of dawn. Probably by 2:30AM or so. Most people still in the house seem like they’re going to keep the party going the rest of the night but I decide to retire to the tent for a bit. Some reading and then a really good night’s sleep. It’s so peaceful sleeping in the tent and the temperature is pretty nice, maybe a little warm but definitely cozy. Day 1 of Freedumb Fest down.

Birmingham AL - Sept.10 - 11

The van has officially been named “The Shitty Church.” This happened pretty early in the trip, based on the fact that the person who has to sit in the middle in the front feels like they are sitting on a church pew, staring at a Virgin Mary statue stuck on the dashboard. The drive to Birmingham seems pretty easy and is totally un-wobbly with the new tire. We’re still going 40 MPH top speed up hill, but this leg of the trip seems pretty short.

So Birmingham is totally awesome. Everything about this stop, except the heat and the fleas, is awesome, which the locals all tell me has never been the case before. Pull into town a little early and we head to the AC Temple, Lance’s old home and current home of Birmingham Brian, Milton, and Jason. It’s another totally crooked house with cool art and amazing flyers everywhere. Lots of various musical instruments and spray-painted amps strewn about. It has a really gnarly dirt and stone basement too that feels like a real cave. You’d think Birmingham is some kind of major noise/punk mecca from all the amazing bands they’ve brought there. Several Cock ESP flyers.

Brian gives us some homemade salsa and cooks up some beans to wrap in tortillas. Totally delicious. Just what I needed after a day of snacks and miscellaneous food. Like every spot so far, they also have a few cats that are sort of wild but sort of live there too. After some food we head over to the venue, which is a cool bookstore called Greencup Books with an incredible upstairs loft space that they use for shows. It’s huge. It would rent for $3500/month in Brooklyn, MINIMUM. Just the upstairs.

I browse the books and chat a bit with Mike, one of the bookstore owners, about Brooklyn. He offers me a deal on the used books so I grab a few for the road. “Decoding the Universe” by Charles Seife (I’ve heard it’s a bit muddled, but it’s about Information Theory and cosmology, which I’m into) and “Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon” by Daniel Dennett.

The first band are some indie/post-hardcore/shoegazey band, one of those bands where the singer closes his eyes and cocks his head to the side and makes an eyebrow-raised smile face while singing. Oh yeah, important to lift up your shoulders while singing like this too. They’re good dudes and a talented band and all but kind of a strange match with the rest of the show.

The second act is a guy named DAVEY WILLIAMS who was AMAZING. He played what he called “fake blues” which was guitar that started out sounding kind of like the blues, but would then get warped with pedals, looped, layered, and then he’d break out electric toothbrushes and a balloon to play the guitar with on top of all that. Really alien music. Totally great. Google that guy.

There was a really good crowd for this show too and everyone stayed to the end. Repeatedly everyone told me that noise shows in Birmingham are never this cool, but maybe things are changing. An older punk guy who told me he played in Birmingham’s first punk band (formed in ’83) was there and was stoked on everything, which was a big compliment.

All around best sets of tour from everyone in our crew. No one in the audience would dance or clap for the RADIO SHOCK show, but that just encouraged me to get crazier and pump more and more energy into it. Very hot, lots of sweat. DRUMS LIKE MACHINE GUNS set started with Brian downstairs talking to people on his wireless mic through the amps upstairs. When they started into their intro noise part it sounded so good I had to take my earplug out and it just got better from there.

Lance’s triumphant return home went great. Everyone crowded up front at his insistence and HYLAND HOLOGRAM sounded the best yet. The opening and ending of the 2nd song were super-tight. Last song ended with the drum kit getting kicked apart. Everyone loved it. They sold almost all of their T-shirts.

We leave the gear at the bookstore (and Lance mistakenly leaves the door money there too) and go back to the AC Temple. Some of the show-goers also come back to the house. B’ham Brian breaks out some more chips and salsa and makes us all blueberry banana smoothies! Plus some bread and humus he made the day before! Southern hospitality and more healthy food, an awfully nice trend on this tour.

Mark and I retreat to an empty and slightly quieter room around 3AM or so. I decide to sleep on a giant stuffed Cthulu thing, some kind of shark-squid stuffed animal that someone made. It’s about as big as me, so after wrapping the tentacles around a bit, I make a pretty nice bed out of it. It takes a while to get to sleep because Brian is really pumping the music, just about the best DJ mix I’ve ever heard, a mix of novelty songs, thrash metal, classic oldies and noise. Even some Jesus & Mary Chain in the mix. Cool but distracting, but eventually I fall asleep. No idea when everyone else went to sleep.

Wake up around 10 and searched around for some coffee. Got bit during the night by some mosquitos and I think a few fleas. Bummer, but it’s not so bad. Mark’s reading about Postmodernism on the porch. Lance is up and I ask him about going out to pick up some coffee. He wakes everyone up and convinces us to go to the Big Lots to find food. This turns into a couple-hour-long outing which makes me a little grumpy, being all before a cup of coffee and food of course, and naturally when we get back someone has already found coffee which is brewing. But we also got some eggs and cereal and soy milk which is good. B’ham Brian gets me online to do blog posts.

We realize it’s an hour later in Atlanta because of the time zone difference so it’s time to go! Richie opts to ride with the Birmingham crew, who are also going to FREEDUMB FEST 2012 so we have a little extra room in the van, which is basically taken up by the new groceries. Pick up the gear and the $$$ are still right where they were left. Still doing good for gas money. On the road to Justin’s place now, the “Black Casl” or “Chateaux Noir” where FREEDUMB FEST happens in Stone Mountain GA. We’re all pretty psyched about it. DRUMS LIKE MACHINE GUNS open AND close the fest.

On our way to FREEDUMB!!!

Human Hologram

Possible NEW names for HYLAND HOLOGRAM suggested while in the van:

HUMAN HOLOGRAM
HORMONE HOLOGRAM
HAMBONE HOLOGRAM
HUNGRY HUNGRY HOLOGRAMS
HONKY HOLOGRAM
HOLOCAUST HOLOGRAM
HARDCORE HOLOGRAM
HEAVY HOLOGRAM

Nashville! Sept.9-10

So it’s Sept.9, Tuesday. We made it to Nashville safely and roll up to the venue. The Crystal Mud System Warehouse is a cool work/live space in what’s basically sort of like a big, single level garage. The place is rented by Bridget, of the noise project Mouth Pet and also a member of one of my favorite bands, Do It Big (or D.I.B.).

Show starts around 10PM with “The Hijacker” which is RJ from Right Arm Severed. As it’s been explained to me, the performance is based on an obscure Marvel comics villain. He wears a black mask and has a cardboard tank cutout stuck to the front of his amp. Then he plays random stuff on a Casio SK-5 while ranting that he has “lasers, and missiles! And lasers!” Using scissors, he cuts each of the drawn missiles from the cardboard tank and throws them at the audience. I don’t know if my description made it sound as entertaining as it was.

RADIO SHOCK is up next and thanks to a longer guitar cord that Brian gave me, I was able to break out some dance moves and get a little more expressive. I think I was overloading the signal at some point though because some songs turned into big muddy fart noise when I played too many things at once, but I’m sure it still sounded good.

DRUMS LIKE MACHINE GUNS had some technical issues setting up, but once they got rolling, they did a great sounding set. I’m starting to wish they would do a second song.

HYLAND HOLOGRAM played last of our crew, which I insisted they had to do because they wired up a light show for the night. I guess the light show burned out not long into their set though because there was a bit of smoke and a burning smell and then the lights stopped. The set was awesome though, gets a little tighter each night and Lance was totally jazzed throughout.

UNICORN HARD-ON is the headliner. Val does a long, slower, noisy trance-out song first, then a dancey, robotic, synth-hurricane song second. It’s denser and more complex than anything I’ve heard from her yet. Sounds great through all those amps we brought.

All around great show and an appreciative crowd. I talked to a cool young guy who bought something from everyone and talked about how he saw Mincemeat or Tenspeed last time he was in Nashville and that was the first noise show he ever saw. That’s the best kind of thing you can hear. This was the best show also for people buying stuff and we even got some pretty good donation money.

We all sleep in the space. There’s a couch, some foam blocks, and a mattress which I share with Brian. I chose the mattress because the adorable little kitten which lives in their place was laying down on the mattress and I wanted to sleep with the kitten. However, during the night it somehow got shut in another room because a few of us woke up to it crying to get out.

I do a little meditation while its still dark (inside anyway) and quiet and then head outside into the bright sun and chat with Richie for a while. When others arise we start moving stuff and Brian takes the van to an auto garage next door. Their assessment is just that our tire is totally shot and they send him to a place down the road to buy a new one. Tour funds cover it with still some left over for gas to the next town. Birmingham! So far I have actually not had to pitch in money for anything on this tour (except my own food) which is pretty amazing. I always have to rent a car on my own and start out like $500 in the hole. If I sell more CDs I may even be able to come out even on food money.

After getting the new tire, loading up and rousing Bridget, we all head over to Ren’s house to cook some eggs and make some coffee. Listen to a tape of “Guy Mann-Dude” – some seriously wanky thrash metal - on the porch. Check email and post some blog posts from Ren’s computer, plus I score a Lazy Magnet tape which he’s putting out. Gas up, put some oil in the van and we’re back on the highway.

It’s September 10th today which means they did the first proton collisions in the new LHC particle accelerator. Saw a short story on the internet while checking email that says it went well. A few people on the road have been mentioning this and I’ve been trying to explain what it’s about since I’m a science nerd. It’s a rather suspenseful and exciting time for physics. By the way, if you were worried about them creating black holes like you may have heard about, there’s no reason to worry. There won’t be black holes and even if there were, they’re no threat because they’d evaporate instantly, and even if they didn’t evaporate they’d just drift out into space anyway. And we’re all still here and it’s a beautiful day so obviously the world didn’t end.

Birmingham next!

Lexington to Nashville

It became clear after a few hours in the van on Monday that we were not going to make it to Lexington until rather late. Our van just does not move very fast and it is a pretty long way from Pittsburgh to Lexington. It’s on this long leg of the trip that I think we all start to get a little unhappy with van life. It will be a welcome relief when we can stretch out for a few days at Freedumb Fest. We’ve all started doing push-ups every time we make a stop now, even all lining up at one rest area and doing synchronized push-ups.

So the Lexington kids have a pretty decent party on their own by all accounts. Some people play at their house and they have a good time and we finally roll in as everyone is going home, about 11:30 or so. Brian heads straight to the nearby skate park to do a little cube gleaming while the rest of us just stretch our legs. We chat and listen to records with our host here, Eric, then get some sleep. I think I got the best night’s sleep this night because I stole the air mattress.

We walk to a greasy spoon place with super-cheap prices for breakfast, but Davey and Mark go next door for “big pizza” which they later report was disappointing and not very big at all. Those of us who eat at the greasy spoon place are completely satisfied.

Walk back to Eric’s place and pile in the van. After being on the road for about 5 minutes, some guy pulls up alongside us and shouts “hey, you know your back left wheel is wobbling.” Uh-oh. We pull into a Mormon church parking lot to check it out and yup, it looks a little wobbly. Further down the road at a gas station the tire pressure on that tire is found to be pretty low, so it gets filled up and we hope that’s all the problem was. I suggest switching it with the spare, but everyone else seems a little less concerned than me, so we get back on the road. As we drive, the wheel does still appear a touch wobbly but the general consensus is that it’s okay.

Along the way to Nashville we stop at Dinosaur World because Lance promises that they have a cool line of toys called “Transcendence Witchcraft Knight.” Turns out he wasn’t crazy and the Dinosaur World gift shop is a pretty cool stop, but we don’t spring for admission to the Dinosaur World itself.

We roll up to Ren & Val’s house and see pretty much exactly what you’d expect to find rolling into Nashville, some people chilling on a porch drinking beer. After some chilling and chatting, drive to the venue, the “Crystal Mud System Warehouse.” Show report in the next blog entry.

day 2 and half of day 3

Pittsburgh is a basement show in a really small basement in a cool crooked house. At most half the people at the show can fit in the basement, so lots of people just hang out and listen from outside. Our host Anthony cooks up some kind of grains & spices stuff and corn on the cob for dinner which was awesome.

Local dudes played first, a trio doing noise/bass/drums jams and a guy named Trogpite who danced around holding incense and made some sounds that go “EEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH.” Then I got to see HYLAND HOLOGRAM play for the first time. They’re my new favorite band, for real. Amazing freakout drums and noise jams.

RADIO SHOCK goes well, kept it real short because it was getting late. Then DRUMS LIKE MACHINE GUNS debut their new wireless microphone style. Brian walks into the backyard with the mike on and starts asking if they found out who farted. They act like they don’t know what he’s talking about but we all totally heard that conversation going on.

Pretty good night’s sleep on mats on the floor. In the morning we all do crunches and pushups, except Richie who’s sleeping under a tree all morning. We watch a huge backhoe tearing down a house over the fence. Then we all take a trip to the Whole Foods for groceries, where Lance demonstrates his just-walk-around-while-eating-the-food technique. I pick up some coffee beans from the Starbucks across the way and back to Anthony’s house for coffee and sandwiches.

I head out to nearby coffee shop for internet access and to make xeroxes of CD inserts. While there I get a call from Lance. He called some people in Lexington to see if we could crash there since this is our day off, and they told him we could play at their house TONIGHT. So I grab directions from the internet, send a few messages, and it’s time to get out of town. Pile back in the van and we’re on the road right now. It looks like we may get to Lexington too late for anyone loud to actually play, so we’ll see what happens. Maybe just a RADIO SHOCK show since I play quieter… but we’re on our way regardless.

While riding in the van, Lance invented 2 new forms of expression. Free-sketchbook drawing in which you need not draw in the book, but you’re still sketching in the book… it’s hard to explain. Also, drawing inside the lines of the book, outside the book. I don’t know what it all means, but he insisted that it should be included in the blog. Davey also invented a new form of expression, but he says the blogosphere is not prepared for it.

In Pittsburgh, last second show in Lexington tonight! Sept. 8th.

We all packed in the van and miraculously everything fit and we’re still not too uncomfortable, despite the other dudes insisting that we do need to bring all 4 or those gigantic amps. So we’ve got 6 people and a full load of gear including drum kits, 4 big amps, 3 small amps, guitars, etc. in a medium sized mini-van.

Tour lineup is HYLAND HOLOGRAM (Davey, Lance and Mark), DRUMS LIKE MACHINE GUNS (Brian and Richie but no Brandon on this trip), and RADIO SHOCK (me).

Pittsburgh has been cool, but I'll have to write more soon. At a coffee sop doing internet and I just got a call from Lance that dudes in Lexington say we should play at their house tonight! Last second show in Lexington!

473 E. Maxwell. Probably starting at 9:30 or 10, since it will take us about that long to get there. Departing Pittsburgh in 15 minutes or so.

Crunches and push-ups and vitamins for everyone this morning. Total health tour!

Day 1, Sept. 6th of HYLAND HOLOGRAM, DLMG, RADIO SHOCK tour

Sept. 6: Survived day one of tour, barely! Barely ate and barely slept and didn’t get half the stuff done that I wanted to. Missed the train I wanted to catch out of town, took the next one and the train broke down. Had to wait in Secaucus or Hoboken or something for an extra hour for the NEXT train. Pouring rain all day. And I have not had any coffee.

So I finally arrived in Philadelphia for the first show at Big Rock Candy Mountain about 10:45. I have to switch to the “blue line” and there are closed locked gates blocking my path. When I get into the station the turnstiles don’t seem to be working and a random guy tells me to just jump over it. When in Rome… Get off at Berks stop, Davey and Brian meet me halfway, I get to BRCM about 11:30 and time to play!

Takes maybe 20 minutes to get everything set up and then miraculously the Radio Shock show goes pretty okay, despite my hands shaking too much to reliably play things on the keyboard. Crowd demands “Trapper Keeper” as an encore. Unfortunately I missed almost everyone else who played, didn’t mean to be a rock star and roll in at last second but at least I got to play. Small crowd of cool people, good time. After playing I am hating life much less.

Drums Like Machine Guns go on last and rule as always. Ate some applesauce and homemade cookies which were awesome. Crash on the couch. Wake up feeling 100% better. Stretch, meditate, spray stencil some CDs (something I didn’t get done before leaving), shower, etc. Eat some of the awesome eggs and potatoes that my hosts cooked up, drink some coffee, and feeling another 100% better now. The rest of the tour crew has showed, are chowing down now and we hit the road shortly. I’m almost feeling ready to take on the world now. Starting with Pittsburgh tonight.